Wired For Youth is supported by readers. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This does not affect who we choose to review or what we recommend. Learn more
This is an incredible word to better understand attraction and relationships. As I have started a new relationship not so long ago, I felt that it might be useful for me to read this book thoroughly to gain extra insight into dating and relationships. I expected the author to have some unique ideas.
- 1 Part 1: Different Types Of Seductive Personalities
- 1.1 The Rake
- 1.2 The Charmer
- 1.3 Sirens
- 1.4 Charismatic People
- 1.5 The Dandy
- 1.6 Naturals
- 1.7 Ideal Lover
- 1.8 Stars
- 1.9 Coquettes
- 1.10 Dangers of Being A Coquette
- 1.11 Anti-Seducers
- 1.12 The Types is Victims That You Can Seduce
- 2 Part 2: How The Seductive Process Goes
- 3 Phase One: Separation
- 4 Phase Two: Lead The Target Astray
- 5 Phase 3: The Precipice
- 6 Phase 4: Moving In For The Kill
- 7 Author Biography
Part 1: Different Types Of Seductive Personalities
In the first part of the book, Robert Greene states that there are different types of personalities that are the best seducers in the game.
The Siren fulfills the man’s desire to forget about commitment, and the same goes for the women. The Rake gives the opposite sex adoration, and there is overwhelming desire. This man, the Rake, will do anything for the woman that he desires the most. He might not be loyal, but it only makes him more appealing than ever. He is giving the women what society doesn’t provide them, an affair – full of lust and pleasure. There is even a hint of danger in it.
This type feeds on someone’s vanity or their insecurity in order to gain their affection. They love to please, and they know how to do it. They are also very social creatures. So how do they do it? They seduce by being sufficiently interested in their targets, and they are not in the equation. These charmers know what makes their target tick, and they know your pains and your weak points. Charmers make the target feel as if he has gained understanding and start to feel something about themselves.
Dangers of Charmers
Greene states that the public views Charmers as dishonest and slippery people and they can easily create issues for you. These types of people need to learn when to get rid of their flexibility and start becoming rigid.
The Siren is the world’s oldest seducer. Based on history, we see her in figures like Cleopatra. She is a highly sexual being, and she is not scared of having an exaggerated feminine appearance from the way she dresses up and makeup. She is very confident, sexual, and offers the opposite sex plenty of pleasure with a touch of danger. Sires are the most powerful seductresses, and they work on a man’s basic emotions. They can seduce almost everyone.
Dangers That Sirens Face:
Another member of the same sex might start to get jealous of the Siren’s ability.
This seducer enters the whole room and steals all the attention of everyone. Having him in the same place makes the entire scene exciting.
It comes from qualities on the inside that makes you stand out. It might be your self-confidence or sense of contentment. A lot of people lack these abilities, and that is what makes them fall right for it. Being opposite to Charmers, Charismatics survive through hard times, and they can show off their ability.
The few examples of Charisma might be Joan of Arc.
Dangers that Charisma Face:
Charisma is very volatile, just like a flare of emotions, then disappears right away.
The whole planet traps us into the roles that we must carry out. People that are more fluid and ambiguous and have their unique persona drives us into excitement. Dandies play with their self-image and create a striking aura for themselves.
These people live to have pleasure in life, and they make sure that beauty surrounds them.
Different sexes have charms among one another, and they don’t understand each other. The Dandy reassures people and makes them feel comfortable as they have the same features.
The factor that leads to this is ambiguity. The Dandy is heterosexual but moves back and forth between both sexes.
A difference between the Rake and the Dandy is that the Rake tries to conquer a woman. At the same time, a Dandy targets the whole society. He tries to capture the entire world, not just one individual.
Dangers of Being A Dandy
The book states that Dandies might either be too masculine for a woman or too feminine for a man. Being insolent might get someone angry at your behavior.
We begin to think of our old childhood days with gold sunshine and roses in the garden, and sometimes we consciously try to recreate these days.
Naturals are people that act spontaneously and are very open. These people bring us back to our childhood days, to the sunny meadow that we try to recreate. They instantly bring us back to the past by integrating these childlike qualities like being sincere and spontaneous. The whole point is to play with conviction and feel like a child, making everything feel natural. The more absorbed you get into your joy-filled world, the more you fall for the Natural.
Dangers of Being A Natural
Being childish all the time can annoy another person, so the best Naturals put in some adult traits like experience and mix it up with a childlike disposition. This is a beautiful combination.
Many people have dreams that have been broken or forgotten, or reality that they had in their youth that they cannot satisfy.
Ideal lovers are an expert in broken dreams. If you long for romance or lose yourself in the moment, then the Ideal Lover will begin to reflect your lover’s ideas.
They will appeal to people with their sexual desires and have lots of love affairs with the person. It is rare in the modern world because to become an Ideal Lover, it takes a lot of time and effort.
Dangers of Being An Ideal Lover
You create a fantasy that has an ideal fantasy lover image stuck at the back of your brain. If you make any mistakes, the illusion will be utterly destroyed.
The star is something that people long for, especially when you are a kid. Most people are too complicated or have too many things on their minds to see the star as an object. Stars are mysterious.
In daily life, things can be rather harsh. The star can let you escape into a fantasy and your dreams. To become a star, you need to turn yourself into an object that glitters through.
Danger of Stars
The risk of becoming a star is that people will get tired of your illusion and move on to value the next shining star. Once it happens, you will not be able to regain your position in the universe.
The most significant art in seduction is not giving the other sex pleasure all the time. Coquettes are the experts at waiting, making the target hope and get frustrated. They are also very self-sufficient. They act like they do not need you, and they are narcissistic. It makes them very attractive.
You need to change from hot to cool when you are playing as a Coquette to make your victim chase you even harder. The most significant part of the Coquette is to trap people emotionally. The secret weapon of Coquette is not tempting or teasing the target, but instead, playing with emotional withdrawal. They make themselves mysterious by absence, and in turn, make the other party insecure. What happens if they no longer have interest?
Dangers of Being A Coquette
Coquettes play with people’s emotions like love, and it can quickly turn to hate. Their absence cannot last for a long time, as the other person might get angry.
Greene gives us insight on what does an anti-seducer means, and what are the qualities that repel another person from us. The main point is the attention part.
Avoid these terms unless you want to repel all the people around you.
- Being brute: You have no patience in a relationship, and you want to skip the seduction process.
- Becoming suffocator: You cling on the person, and you fall in love too fast.
- Turning into a moralizer: Makes the other person become what you want them to be.
- Becoming a tightwad: You value money more than seduction.
- Being a windbag: You talk without stopping, incessantly.
- Involving into a reactor: Scared of having a hurt ego
- Becoming a vulgarian: Ignoring seduction rules and keep wanting to win.
- Being a greedy person: Making things too apparent that you are after something.
The Types is Victims That You Can Seduce
Everyone can become a victim of seduction, but you must know what type of person they are and the method on how to approach them. Here are these types:
- Reformed Siren: He longs to escape from constraint and attain freedom.
- Dreamer That Lost Hope: He is stuck in a mundane life and wants to experience adventure.
- Dreaming of Being A Royal: Longs for a prince to take them far away to have a royal life.
- Prude: Always very concerned with their appearance, and wants to have a prolonged release in life.
- Fallen Star: Wants to be adored again.
- Beginner novice: Excited to see a new, dark world.
- The World Conqueror: Give them a new challenge to overcome that roadblock.
- Mr. Fetishist: Wants novelty and new experiences in life.
- Drama Queen: Wants more drama in their life
- Professor: Analyzing and pondering, but wants to meet a free spirit.
- Beauty: Wants to be appreciated. She pays special attention to her wits.
- Baby That Never Grows Up: Not mature and looks for someone to support him.’
- Rescuer: Always want to feel like they saved someone’s life.
- The Roue: Has a lot of life experience and long to educate another naive person.
- Worshipper: Looking for what life means.
- Sensualist: People that are driven by their senses. They can get overwhelmed if you give them a different understanding of smell or touch.
- Forlorn Leader: They do not like to be bossed around. Act as if you are their equal.
- Gender Afloat: Float with these people on the same frequency.
Part 2: How The Seductive Process Goes
Phase One: Separation
Your victims are people that do not bother with other people’s lives and generally just survive in their world. They have their own daily experiences to carry out and usual worries as well.
The objective of seducing them is to enter the world they live in and turn it into a great escape.
Picking The Right Victim
Do not go for people that are too difficult to charm, but do not go for people that are easily seduced as well. The best victim is the person that revokes you in a manner that makes your life different. There should be a bit of tension as the victim might be afraid of you or dislike you.
Here is a list of people and how easy or hard it’s to seduce them:
Unhappy people: Happy people are harder to entice.
Imaginative people: A person that has a healthy imagination is more comfortable to trap as they can create a fantasy about you.
Manly behavior: Turn the person’s aggression into passiveness by using coquettish tricks on him.
Shy introverted people: They are more straightforward targets compared to extroverts.
Lost people: People without a goal are more comfortable to seduce compared to focused people.
People with lots of time: People that have plenty of time are good targets to seduce. As they have more time to think of you.
People with boring lives: People with a boring life will welcome a new love as a new piece of excitement.
Create A Feeling of Pretence of Security
Never let people know your intentions quickly. If you are friends with the person that you would like to seduce, don’t panic. You can become acquainted with the person and get to know him before you decide to seduce him.
If in the first stage, you make the other person think that they are making the first move, then you have won the game.
No matter what action you take to make the target reach out to you first, do not try crowding the goal. If you give them too much attention, it means that you are insecure, and there will be no room left for any type of imagination.
The author states that:
- The direct approach is faster, however
- The indirect method of seduction will reduce the number of failures and make the temptation better.
Sending Mixed Signals To Your Target
Everyone finds mixed signals fascinating. If you keep sending mixed messages to the other person, it gives them a hard time to figure what is at the back of your brain.
Mixed signals mean depth while it confuses the target, at the same time, fascinating him.
A mysterious person with an elusive personality will draw people in and make them want to know more about you.
The book states that there are many ways where you can create mixed signals by showing off features that are opposite to your physical appearance.
Dress As An Object of Desire
Start creating a love triangle so that you can seduce your target correctly. The book states that you might want your destination to see you as a target that might be taken away from another person. If they do not act fast, they will lose you to another person.
These people that you use to become the love triangle don’t need to be a specific conquest, but they can be your social media fans or people that have chased you in the past.
You can make your target feel like they are competing with the other person both in the past and in your present state.
Create A Need For Discontentment
We put on a brave face, and we feel confident, but in truth, no one is ever satisfied in their lives. The book states that a happy and content person is not natural to seduce. Therefore, you need to make them tense and have disharmony at the back of their mind.
The danger would be risking going too far and making the person angry and defensive.
Master The Skill of Insinuation
You should not let seduction turn into a job; you should have fun seducing people. You are starting to create drama, so make sure to be creative.
Skill in the book in the art of insinuation is making the victim feel dissatisfied in a nonsavvy way.
The danger is when the target already has an interest in you, so you just skip the whole process.
Enter The Victim’s mind
The most significant tactic is to enter another person’s spirit. It makes the victim feel that they are the ones that are seducing you as you imitate the other person.
You need to understand them and adapt to the other person’s moods. It means not just mirroring the other person, but the ideal person that they would want to be.
Once you start opening up to you, you turn the tables and let them enter your mind.
The danger in this is if you mirror them for too long, they will see through the trick and become repelled by it. It is a tactic and another step in seduction to let them enter your world.
It is important to stay yourself when mirroring the other person.
Create A Temptation In Another Person
The key to seducing another person is a barrier. Many centuries ago, it would be classes and religion. However, as of today, these barriers are psychological. You lure your target to become interested in you. Find the fantasy that they have, a weakness that they cannot control, and give them the temptation. Keep it in a low tone and slow down the gratification. Their mind will then fill in the remaining space.
Phase Two: Lead The Target Astray
If the victims are already interested in you, the objective is to lure them into a point that they cannot back out.
Keep The Suspense
If you are reliable, you come across as boring. When people know what to expect from you, you no longer hold a spell over them.
The book explains that surprises are made when there is a turn of events that leads the person’s defense to break down, and the new emotions start to enter. You can take the other person to a different place, and make it seem natural. Another great move is to suddenly appear in front of them, which makes the other person happy if they already like you.
Use Words To Seduce Other People
You need to learn how to seduce other people with words, either orally or in a written form. Learning how to go outside is essential. Use sweet flattering words to make these people feel better, and start to spin fantasy for them and offer the other person promises. Soon they listen and begin to fall for you.
The danger of too much flattery might end up making you feel pretentious, and it shows that you are selfish. Use fewer flattery words and leave some room for ambiguous imagination to take place.
Pay More Attention To Needed Details
When we were still children, we were influenced by our senses. The events like a circus or a new big toy can quickly fascinate us. The devil is in the details, and you need to pay attention to these details. Remember the features that your kids love and give them the gifts that mean a lot to them.
Poeticize Your Presence
Once you become too familiar with the person, it destroys the entire seduction game. After the target has come to know you, and they figured out that they are not who you thought they are, the fantasy bubble breaks.
People love to fantasize about another person—someone ideal like a model or an actor, with a touch of romance and adventure. A little deception is better than no fantasy at all.
Disarm The Other Person With Vulnerability
If you are too aggressive in pursuing the target, you will eventually drive them away. If you appear bashful and fragile, they might fall for you instead. Most people try to hide their weak points away, and it is natural to become seductive if we let a side of us show to the other person. It might be the most seductive trait of yourself. Confess a bad thing that you ever did, and it ends up as an honest gesture.
The danger of this weakness, like neediness, has no seductive value. Make sure that you have proper timing, share the trait only when the other person is already falling for you.
Confusing Your Desire With Reality
The incredible thing is what seems to be real but is not reality. Bring the person’s fantasy into reality. Make them embrace their imagination. It is a bit like luring them into a dream.
Isolate The Victim
There are people around you that seem to be in control, but it is a facade. If you isolate the victim, it will be easier to seduce. Start to separate them psychologically by making them think about you all the time and know what is familiar to them. Make the victim feel like he is embarking on a new adventure with you, and get rid of their memories.
Phase 3: The Precipice
The book’s phase three objective is to make everything you go through much deeper. Once you have sharp hooks deep inside them, then you can move the hooks until the person snaps.
Prove Yourself Worthy
Many people want to be seduced. If the person resists you, it means that they are still not convinced of the depth of how you feel, or how honest your intentions are. An action of self-sacrifice will be needed to trigger a person’s emotions. Do not wait for something to happen, but rather put the target in a tight spot and rescue the person.
Put The Person On A Regression Strategy
This strategy must be made according to the target and know that they are attached to the parent of the opposite sex, then this is an effective method.
The book is talking about a powerful tool when it brings us into regression. Ask the person about their childhood. Be quiet, and do not give them criticism to keep them talking.
Four types of regression:
Infantile: The first bond with the female parent is a powerful one. The key to this regression is the love the mother has for the baby.
Oedipal: It depends on the target because you have to play a parental role.
Ego Ideal: Let them feel that they are becoming the person that they wish to be.
Reverse Parental: You are the child in this role.
There are different power positions that you want to be free of.
Stir Up Any Transgression Problems
People are not secure about their bodies and their real lives. To seduce these people, you need to transport them to another place. Society always has restrictions on individuals. These restrictions are still on constant change, but they will always be restrictions, no matter what type of behavior you want to accept.
We want to explore the dark side of another person, so make the target feel like they are going past these restrictions so that they are in the danger zone with you.
Someone that is very seductive, but you want to avoid him in theory.
Use Spiritual Lures
We have different insecurities about our images, and we only appeal to physical self-images to make our targets appear less secure or in doubt. Try a paranormal experience with the other person.
Mix A Little Seduction With Pain
You should seduce them properly and give them pleasure. If you reach the climax too fast, the relationship is being too cute. Give people a lot of attention, then appear uninterested. This will make the person insecure.
The book says that people have a lot of yearnings without realizing it. When someone gives us pain, our repressed feelings surface up. It works best on people that have a lot of power and a few problems.
The danger of this method is implementing it on people that have recently experienced a lot of pain.
Phase 4: Moving In For The Kill
You have seduced the person’s mind, and now you have attracted them emotionally.
Next, you should seduce them physically. Now your targets should be ripe with desire as well.
Give The Target Space To Fall
There are two phases. Phase one is when you are chasing the target. The second phase is when the goal has fallen for you. When you retreat, the victim will panic and feel that you have lost interest.
Once they fall for you, let them chase you instead. Let them have the urge to chase you physically.
The important thing is not to become absent a whole lot during the process of seduction. This is a give and takes strategy, don’t take too much, or you will lose the person.
Use Physical Lures
When you are trying to seduce the person that has an active mind, you need to be careful, or they will see through your seductions. Make sure to have a sexual presence in front of them. Train yourself to let go of your doubts and anxieties. Being confident makes you more seductive than any other thing in sight.
The Danger of this method is if you use it on a physical level, then it will disturb the other person severely.
Master The Art Of Making A Bold Move
Being vain has a significant impact on seduction. If you are too eager about sex, then your interest has nothing to do with the target’s attraction. Some people will never make the first move. Some women might feel taken aback if they had done everything, but the guy never makes the first move. Create some sort of conflict and a bold move.
Dangers of linked to bold moves. Being fearless is excellent, but if it is uncontrolled, it ends up feeling horrifying and not seductive at all. So this attitude is not to be used in all cases.
Greene has written several bestseller books, and he has a degree in classical studies. He has also written scripts for Hollywood movies and can speak a few different languages. He currently lives in LA, United States.
- The Way To Wealth by Benjamin Franklin Summary, Notes, and PDF
- The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy Book Summary, Notes, and PDF
- Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins Book Summary, Notes, and PDF
- Deep Work by Cal Newport Book Summary, Notes, and PDF
- Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink Book Summary, Notes, and PDF
Book summaries, notes, interviews, and more!
Get Bite-sized Lessons straight to your inbox
No spam, all value — we deliver the best bite-sized tips right to your inbox.